Chez Pane - If the patient has pain, pressure, or nonspecific discomfort below the ears and above the navel it is cardiac in nature. Regardless of duration this requires admission and serial sets of enzymes. This is actually French for "bring home the bread" as without these admissions the medical system would go bankrupt.
New Moan Ya - A serious infection requiring intravenous antibiotics that is evidenced by an abnormality detected on a chest x-ray by the ED physician regardless of the absence of fever, cough, sputum, or leukocytosis. The abnormality, called an infiltrate, cannot be detected by anyone else.
CHF-U - Any patient with an elevated BNP has decompensated heart failure, regardless of signs, symptoms, or benign radiography. These patients get a magical drug called lasiks which makes them urinate a lot so they are often also diagnosed with You Tee Eye.
Old - The patient is older than 65, takes medications, has a completely negative work-up, and wants to go home. However they are old, and despite having taken care of themselves their entire lives and have no medical complaints they need to be admitted.
Sink Opie - Any hint of possible loss of consciousness or vertigo regardless of age, history. risk factors, and work-up has an insanely high risk of sudden cardiac death.
You Tee Eye - When late for a golf date, any abnormal urine analysis despite absence of urinary symptoms, fever, or leukocytosis is concrete evidence of a urinary tract infection requiring intravenous antibiotics.
I kid. I kid.